did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Farmville is her only friend.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
