how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
