There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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