McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize