I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
