She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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