Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize