That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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