I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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