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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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