So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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