Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
