At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
