You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
