her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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