I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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