I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
