I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
