I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
