when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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