im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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