Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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