Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
