OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
And then he peed in my hair
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