you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
