i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
