The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize