Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
