if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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