we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize