I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
