i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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