Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
