One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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