She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize