that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
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I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
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They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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