I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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