i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I need to calm my uterus...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
