I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
