It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize