I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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