It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
this hospital has no fireball
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
