We won't sleep together?
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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