now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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