he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
