k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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