it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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