don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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