What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
