he shaved USA in his pubs
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
