I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Found the puke drawer
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
