I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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