roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
