I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
