I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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