Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Randomize
