as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
