I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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