awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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