I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
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you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
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I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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