Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
