When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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