Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just want nice things and good sex
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
