lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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