butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
